SILENCE

Why does it bother you that am silent?
When you never listen when I speak
Why does it kill you inside?
Yet you shun me down when I speak,
What is a voice if it’s of no use?
Why do you hate my silence so much?
When you can’t pick even a mere word from what I say
Why does it anger you so much?
Yet you make fun of each word I say
You never take notice of my laughter
Of my noise and simple naive talk as you call it
And now you want to know what is hidden in my silence
Whereas my silence bothers you,
It heals my soul.

silence image 2

Each day I feel less of myself
Because everything I say isn’t important
I crumble at your sarcastic laughter for each speech I make
I feel my heart tear because all my ideas are not worth your attention
My soul cries as everyone turns out to speak best
And as for me, am allowed to speak just to play it fair
Not because you think I have something worth saying
Why then are you bothered by my silence?
Does it scare you that I might become dumb?
Do you for a second yearn to hear me speak?
Because I don’t think so
And I seat here waiting for the day where my speech will be the birth of something
But it’s all in vain.

Silence image

My silence ain’t just silence
It is a moment filled with peace
It is the time I enjoy the beauty of my ideas
It is so I can listen to the voice in my head
And cease to hear all the voices around me
It ain’t keeping quiet because I have nothing to say
It is being silent because I have a lot to say but I have got no zeal to speak
It is me being silent because am reminding myself of who I am,
Despite your harsh words,
It is me finding tranquility and gaining my ground back. ‎

 

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She isn’t who she is

There are moments when she literally turns cold,

Her smile becomes a thing you long for,

You begin to miss the ease of conversation that characterized earlier,

It is in this moment that she claims the most about how she is okay

It’s a feeling of powerlessness that you bear

You can’t push her anymore because you don’t want her to tear

She isn’t who she is, I don’t know how I can tell her.

 

In these moments she will barely say a word,

You will marvel at the opportunity to speak with her for a minute,

It could be that there is an underlying issue,

An issue too deep it can only find solace in the mind,

An issue too deep for verbal comprehension the rest of us are left in the blind

Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t

She isn’t who she is, I don’t know how I can tell her

 

In these moments the silence around her will be so loud,

It will bother you irrespective of how much you pretend not to be,

Natural instinct may tell you to serve her the very same plate,

Purpose however contradicts your desire,

With an understanding that this is the time ministry has relevance the most,

And you will have to dive in irrespective of the response,

She isn’t who she is, open my eyes to the Grace that you have availed for me to tell her

 

 

 

 

Freedom

I long for freedom

Something that seems so far from me

Where I sit comfortably in my skin

And walk around like I got an entire city to my name

Take a stride with a deep breath of relief every morning

Like I have got nothing to worry about

Carry no weight like I am just a feather

Rest my head on a pillow and fall deep asleep.

 

Where hence can I find this?

For I run to my Father’s house and I will find poverty

Then to my mother’s

I find depression

As I turn to my neighbor

I see pain, anguish of not knowing what tomorrow holds

Not losing faith, I look to my fellow youth

All I see is hunger and despair

I look to my nation

And it is beset with gloom

Where can I find freedom?

eagle-flying-on-sky

Photocredit : http://www.liveanimalslist.com

I envy the birds in the sky

Because they are free

They fly all around from one point to another

With joy they explore God’s creation

They show off the beauty of their coats

Black, red, white, grey

They surround the seas, rivers and lakes with pride

And find rest in the fine baobab, mahogany, bush willow trees

How I wish they would come pick me up

So, we fly together

And sing those melodies in which they find freedom.

 

 

My Pillow

 

best-friends-picture-

Photocredit : www.theodysseyonline.com

She used to be my heart to heart 
The only person I told my deepest secrets
She was the umbrella that shielded me from the rain 
She was the punch bag that I left all my fists of anger and pain 
She was the ear to which I yelled all my nasty thoughts 
The only person who could stomach my rotten parts 
She was the only one who saw me release my lonely tears when sad 
She was my pillow.

She was my pillow 
She held me to sleep 
She held my head 
And read my mind Listened to my silent fears 
And left a shoulder for me to lean on 
She saw right through me 
And calmed my heart 
She discerned the hurly-burly of my emotions 
And she would put her arms around me 
To me they were an angel’s wings 
Wings that I felt fall off 
They drifted away little by little Until it dawned me one day 
That she was gone 
She left my head hanging 
She, my pillow could not hold me longer. 

She was my pillow 
And she was gone 
She left me to the mercy of my emotions 
My challenges and fears I learned to live the hardest way
I built a barricade and closed my heart therein 
I learnt to depend on no one else but me 
I drew strength from my inner man to carry on 
I never shed a tear again 
For I had no pillow to collect them 
My heart got hard like an armored car 
All I am left to give the world Is this innocent smile
But behind it layeth words unsaid 
Words of anger, hate, pain and love 
All rushing like a strong wind in my head 
Hanging in their till I find her or yet another, 
A pillow for me to vent. 

Would you be my pillow? 
To calm me right to sleep 
To hold me when I sleep
To drain my tears in the night 
To greet me when I wake 
My pillow to help me dream dreams 
And envision my future 
Be the door to shut out my fears 
The fountain that fills up the emptiness inside of me 
I need someone to draw my strength from 
Someone who will dare me to claim the sky
One that sees past my flaws, 
Just because I come off strong doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong 
And just because you’ve never seen me shed a tear 
It doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t cry 
​I need someone 
Someone, with whom we won’t just survive, 
But one with whom we will thrive.

She used to be my heart to heart 
The only person I told my deepest secrets
She was the umbrella that shielded me from the rain 
She was the punch bag that I left all my fists of anger and pain 
She was the ear to which I yelled all my nasty thoughts 
The only person who could stomach my rotten parts 
She was the only one who saw me release my lonely tears when sad 
She was my pillow.

She was my pillow 
She held me to sleep 
She held my head 
And read my mind Listened to my silent fears 
And left a shoulder for me to lean on 
She saw right through me 
And calmed my heart 
She discerned the hurly-burly of my emotions 
And she would put her arms around me 
To me they were an angel’s wings 
Wings that I felt fall off 
They drifted away little by little Until it dawned me one day 
That she was gone 
She left my head hanging 
She, my pillow could not hold me longer. 

She was my pillow 
And she was gone 
She left me to the mercy of my emotions 
My challenges and fears I learned to live the hardest way
I built a barricade and closed my heart therein 
I learnt to depend on no one else but me 
I drew strength from my inner man to carry on 
I never shed a tear again 
For I had no pillow to collect them 
My heart got hard like an armored car 
All I am left to give the world Is this innocent smile
But behind it layeth words unsaid 
Words of anger, hate, pain and love 
All rushing like a strong wind in my head 
Hanging in their till I find her or yet another, 
A pillow for me to vent. 

Would you be my pillow? 
To calm me right to sleep 
To hold me when I sleep
To drain my tears in the night 
To greet me when I wake 
My pillow to help me dream dreams 
And envision my future 
Be the door to shut out my fears 
The fountain that fills up the emptiness inside of me 
I need someone to draw my strength from 
Someone who will dare me to claim the sky
One that sees past my flaws, 
Just because I come off strong doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong 
And just because you’ve never seen me shed a tear 
It doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t cry 
​I need someone 
Someone, with whom we won’t just survive, 
But one with whom we will thrive.

Should I be blamed?

Should I be blamed?
For finding aggravation in the arms of a stranger
Can you really blame me for being fascinated by someone?
Who shows interest in my existence?
A man who spares time to make a call
Say good morning, send me good night kisses
Which you never did
Embrace me with the tightest hug when am down
Buy me a piece of candy to make me smile
All these give me total satisfaction
Because he loves me the way you never did.

Should I be blamed?
For choosing a man my father’s age
A man whose consistence and persistence to make me smile
Breaks my resistance
A man in whose eyes I see a ray of light
Each time he looks at me
The light you never ever brought to my life
That that you never fought to give me
Because your interest in my existence was non-existent.

So where are you today?
Where are these men, the fathers?
Those that bring us on earth
And leave us to toil in the mad
The men that have escaped their responsibility
Those afraid to fight for their children
Those that dwell in the presence of shisha instead of the spirit
They have sought solace on the bottle instead of the Bible
And while the churches are full of women,
The prisons are full of men.

father and daughter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photocredit: www.advocate.com

Should I be blamed?
If am asking you to be a father not just a man to my children
To be the father who will purpose to instill character and discipline
The father who will live not just for a day rather for a generation
The father who will run the race till the end
The father who will be the beginning of something new
Something called fathership and sonship
Where the hearts of the fathers are unto the children
And those of the children unto their fathers.

 

I Speak for the girl

I speak for the girl
Who cannot speak for herself
The girl who is afraid to look in the mirror
For all she sees is an ugly face
The girl who goes unnoticed
The girl who struggles not to crave
For she desires a kardashian structure
The girl who spends an hour photo editing
For all she sees in her is imperfection.

I speak for that girl
The girl who struggles for 20 Facebook likes,
50 twitter followers just to feel loved
The girl who has to wear layers of makeup
Just to feel beautiful
The girl who has been told she is too short to be on the runway
Too fat to be on TV
And too dark to be on the cover page of a magazine
The girl who does not love herself enough to see the beauty in her
For she lets her hair fall into her face
To cover up the spots
Afraid of rejection, afraid of the world
I speak for that girl.
girl

Photocredit: omgvoice.com

I speak to that Girl
I speak to her soul with a gentle whisper
You are unique. You are special.
You are a Child of God. You have an amazing body

I compliment you without wanting to be on top of you

I speak to that Girl
I remind you of the Princess that you are;
Irrespective of your skin intonation,
Irrespective of your Body Mass Index,
You are God’s Masterpiece;
An Esther of your time,
A Ruth of your generation,
A Rebecca for the man who will come into your life.

I speak to that Girl,
And I let you know,
That irrespective of what they have said to you,
Irrespective of what they have done to you,
You are Beautiful
I speak to that Girl.

I Speak for that Girl
Because once upon a time,
I was that Girl.